Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
