hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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