..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Randomize
