New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
