i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
