do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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