Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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