He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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