I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
