He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
My vagina is officially offended.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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