He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
