Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
