How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
