her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
