But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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