We're like a lot better than the average bears
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
