Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
