I'm going to jail i love you
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
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