I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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