How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
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