The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
