Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
