I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
How external is "for external use only"?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
