thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
