We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
How external is "for external use only"?
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
