Im at strip club and am horny
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
