i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
pray to the hookup gods
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
