I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize