I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize