You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
