i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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