Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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