I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
