apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
You ruined the universe
Randomize
