I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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