Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
