ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
