so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I am one with the molecules
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
