Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Randomize
