I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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