oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
