Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I have post one night stand depression
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