I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
