This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
