Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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