I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
