she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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