I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
