The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
