Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Randomize