Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
So vagazzling was a success
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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