mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
