Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize
