I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
