i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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