it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
