He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
