did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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