I think I just saw someone hide a body.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Randomize
