Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Come on in and take your pants off
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