i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
